I want to forget: dismiss you from my life, the way you shattered my heart into tiny, almost unexisting pieces and caused such ache that I felt my soul actually deteriorate, those sleepless nights that you caused, where I gazed out the window at the night sky where the stars and the moon were keeping each other company, wondering why, why do marvelous people have to experience such heartbreaking moments?
I welcomed you into my life hoping, believing that you could change the environment. My life was an empty, boring place and my soul was like a lifeless apartment: cold, unvisited, depressing place. A residence without any furniture, memories, emotions, just tedious walls. I gave you the key to my soul and you came in. For a very short time, a fraction of a second you actually caused joy and excitement. You changed my universe; made me gaze at things with a different view and in a way I had never imagined it before. The sun suddenly became more radiant, creating more heat, like never before. The sky was of an unprecedented blue, so clear that I could almost see the other end of the solar system. The songs the birds would recite every day would sound like a symphony performing just for me, a special concert from the heart. Even the rainy days would seem unusually fresh and joyful and every time a rainbow would arise in the sky. During the night time the moon would glimpse down on me smiling and during the daytime hours the sun would beam brighter than ever. The stars at night would rearrange themselves and they would spell out your name. I would be so flattered, because I knew I was not the only one who would witness such a miracle take place.
I wonder if those events were actually real or if they were all just illusions based on the feelings and emotions that made me contemplate things in a more positive and optimistic way. Even now, after all this time the wind still speaks of you and if I concentrate enough I can even hear your voice. I can hear you speaking to me and calling my name, claiming that you are apologizing for everything. It is too late now, since nothing can be fixed anymore.
Unfortunately you thought that this was your place that you could unleash yourself and do whatever you wished. It was not your permanent residence; it was only a rented space for you to get used to, to feel comfortable. Obviously, you made yourself too comfortable and now I regret ever letting you come inside. The time has come for me to make some changes. The lock on the door must be changed and a new key must be made. Even though I feel lost, like a tourist in a foreign country without any directions, surprisingly for you, I think I am capable of moving on and finding and choosing the right direction.
Hopefully someday, someone special will come and they will receive this key, but they will be different guests and create a special atmosphere and maybe, just maybe they will be able to remain and stay forever. But until then, it is time to forget, to write a new chapter and close the previous one.
“Love is like a cigarette that starts with flashes and ends with ashes.”